SUBDUED SUNDAY : The MOD’s Blog 9 Step Slender Solutions (TM Pending)

Ah, January. Now begins the incessant berating of yourself for the guaranteed overindulgence at Christmas. And so you should. You should be consumed by guilt and self-loathing at the shocking amount of times you acted out one of the 7 deadly sins ; Gluttony.

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I know from experience, I did the same thing myself and that’s why I’ve put together the The MOD’s Blog 9 Step Slender Solution (TM Pending) . It will  help you lose those few extra few pounds and assist you in making better food choices and completely alter your way of thinking.  Don’t believe me? Just read on and let me prove you wrong!

STEP 1

Ditch the Booze – Empty calories people.

STEP 2

No matter what you’re eating you need to include egg whites. Not the yoke though, it’s pure evil.

STEP 3

Little and often is the key. You should be constantly chewing on either carrot sticks or 2-3 almonds no matter how impractical that may be as part of your everyday routine.

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STEP 4

STEP 5

 

STEP 6

STEP 7

 

 

STEP 8

Become an actual Cauliflower.  There are some fantastic benefits of being a Cauliflower head:

 

Image Source: roflmao-the-clown.deviantart.com

 

  • You’re a food so you don’t have to eat – Instant calorie intake reduction.
  • People expect you to smell a bit, so no big deal.
  • It’s normal to be quite round so the pressure to be skinny is non existent.

 

STEP 9

Ignore all of the above. Replacing your rice and spuds with Cauliflower isn’t going to change your life. Just make better choices if that’s what you really want. Listen to your body, chances are it’s smarter than you.

 

*If you actually want to learn more about Cauliflower recipes and such you’ll need to head over to Buzzfeed.com.

 

Thanks for reading.

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